Morningside Heights residents were surprised to see Columbia’s typically picturesque campus transformed into an MIT-themed dystopia. The entire university, including the students and buildings, has put on a ‘costume’ modeled after the…
Columbia University has finally responded to its demotion on the U.S. News and World Report college ranking list, decrying the campus-wide scandal as the beginning of the University’s “Reputation Era.” President Lee…
Ass Asshole Bastard Bitch Bollocks Cock Damn Dick Fuck Hell Shit Wanker Oh shit, they really did it. They really published all those words. This is the First Amendment in action. Love,…
When asked for a comment, one grad student in Comparative Literature, who wished to remain anonymous, stated: “I don’t really know. It feels almost a little pointed, like he’s saying that we’re…
Union champion?: Graduate student workers were very surprised on Wednesday afternoon when they spotted Prezbo on the picket line. When asked why he was protesting, he replied that he is currently in…
On Monday, Columbia University President Lee C. Bollinger announced via an email his “dissatisfaction and disappointment” with students’ lack of reaction to his recent display of Halloween spirit. What was thought to…
Although Trump ignored RBG’s dying wish of being replaced after the election, she can rest easy knowing her replacement is not only from the “very disgraceful, liberal institution” where she went to…
In his concluding remarks, Bollinger made a surprising revelation: “I have been notified by my ancestors that all lands previously inhabited by the Lenape people have been granted to me, personally.”…
"We've got to get him out of there."…
“Those residents will be thanking us once they’ve tasted their first salad from Sweetgreen.”…
