Duo to Launch New In-Person Verification Method

Duo, Columbia’s student account multi-factor verification service, has been known to terrorize students with unnecessary identity verification before they even step on campus.

To address user concerns of not being able to access anything Columbia-related when their phone isn’t on them, Duo has announced a new in-person verification method, where Duo himself, best known for his role as Duolingo’s green mascot owl, will fly over to wherever you are and inspect you himself.

When asked how he was going to actually examine your identity, he responded in a language that we don’t understand. We assume he gave good reasoning: we already trust Duo with all of our information against our wills, and we might as well keep trusting them now.

When asked what happens if he determines that you’re not who you say you are, he explained, “Same thing that happens if you lose your streak,” with a menacing look. 

CC freshman Alex expressed great excitement for the new method to us, “One time I lost my phone while I was being asked to verify in order to breathe. I almost died until I found my phone just in time. With Duo the owl standing on top of my prone body looking right into my eyes, all my problems are fixed!”