He is Risen!: PrezBo Retakes Presidency 

Rejoice! Former University President Lee C. Bollinger has announced that in the spirit of Easter, he is resurrecting his presidency. When representatives from The Fed asked Prezbo about this radical move, he said: “We’re very similar, Christ and I. He’s the son of a carpenter, I’m a former university president, so we share the same humility. He’s got luscious flowing locks, and so do I. This seemed like a very natural step.”