"It may be hard work, but we will never stop policing injustices as long as doing so draws attention to our social media presence.”…
"Program participants will receive an engraved Brown University bong, readily available for purchase at the university bookstore for $39.95."…
"Governor Reuben won a landslide victory to become the state’s first Toasted-American governor."…
"I always just assumed I would work at Morgan Stanley, but recently I’ve been dreaming about McKinsey.”…
“Let’s not mince words: the students at this school are fugly."…
The study found that "no genitalia" also discouraged intercourse.…
“If Mother Teresa can be a saint, so can this sandwich."…
Activism by any means possible.…
"If anything, data suggests that these little fuckers are actually getting dumber with every passing year.”…
"Sorry to disappoint, Mom, but I’m not just some fucking sell-out conformist like you!"…
