We've surveyed all of the election endorsements on campus.…

"I found that I could only feel comfortable with the tip of my nose resting snugly in my sphincter."…

"Maybe it was an empty promise all along."…

"When I realized the motive behind the feces, I was astonished by its brilliance."…

On the other hand, children of floorcest "have a huge leg up on admissions." …

What a time saver.…

"Mom, I mean Liz, really helps me manage my time and always brings the best snacks."…

"I have the right to a real job, a job suited to an adult who made better life choices than I did."…