“Hey guys and welcome to my What’s in My Bag vlog as a student at Columbia University! Today I’m going to be—oh, you need to check my bag? For non-racial profiling reasons……
I just love wearing Columbia merch. The moment that Champion-branded fabric touches my skin? Immediate chills. My chest swells with pride. My chin lifts. My mouth tugs back into a smug smile.…
An investigation by your loyal Federalists has revealed a harrowing truth: the beloved books lining the walls of your favorite reading room in Butler are fakes! A tip was called in by…
2. “heyy could I see your answers for the french hw” 3. “What’s your uni?” 4. “Anyone want to meet up this weekend to study?” If you answered mostly A’s, you are…
In response to the recent Timothée Chalamet look-alike contest in New York in October, a Harry Styles look-alike contest emerged in London, a Paul Mescal look-alike contest in Dublin, and a Jeremy…
Dear Madame Vice President, Heyyyy girly! We know you’ve been having A Week. Shots on us whenever you’re ready to talk, but in the meantime, have a playlist! Sincerely, The Fed 10.…
Maybe it was hubris. Musically, I had a great year. Finally, I had freed myself from the soul-crushing grip of my middle-school music taste. I perused music Twitter. I watched Anthony Fantano…
While White House staff has been dreading the return of President-elect Donald Trump, they acknowledge that they are better equipped to handle his needs this time around. In preparation for Trump’s second…
On Saturday, numerous Columbia twinks gave reports that they saw Senator JD Vance dancing alone at Hardware, a famous Hell’s Kitchen queer bar. According to one particularly disgusted bar patron, Vance was…
It’s that time of year again… your Butler crush has seen you in full cruddy midterms glory, that one JJs guy knows you by name, and your fall wardrobe is in free-fall…
