There was a gland. I am that gland. I work all day, all night. A rueful life, I know I’m damned I’ve no hope of respite. Ev’ry wipe brings pitiful pain. I…
Drinking the green one I feel like a strong, swift horse Academic beast…
Judah Smith, devout Christian student from Tennessee, heard about the coming of today’s Rapture from a man with a long beard and impeccable physique while scrolling on TikTok last week. Judah, a…
I had been rooting against Jimmy Kimmel for years. Especially during the award show years. The Oscars were ruined back to back years by the most exhaustingly accessible comedian on the face…
Following the recent increases in campus security at Columbia University, Columbia Public Safety has again announced a major change to the checkpoint system around campus. In addition to the existing requirement for…
Dear Class of 2029, Congratulations on Your Admittance to the Most Brutalized Ivy League Student Body! While we looked at almost one hundred applications from all over the world [i.e, from one…
A’walkin round in Lerner, Looking for a treat. Thought: well im close to Ferris, But all they ever have is meat! Chicken, bacon, sausage, pepperoni on their pies, Ferris Booth Commons is…
Columbia University recently voiced their support for Chappell Roan after she faced controversy in the wake of her recent Call Her Daddy interview. The university spokesperson stated that they too believe stars…
