"That little mutt has been dead as a doornail for years."…
"I had no idea how much regionalist scorn I was in for when I ordered the classic BUSHDID9/11 and mozzarella panini from Hamilton Deli."…
Know the difference.…
"Usually we let the admissions process grind them up and spit them out, but we had to step in here."…
"You simple fool, you can’t even fathom the mistakes you make."…
"Columbia must have been his safety school. Anyone with a dick that nice applied to Harvard early.”…
"I am an only child—and yet, the grill is their favorite member of the family."…
"Was his Alaska cruise okay, but not as good as his Joseph Conrad-esque sailing trip down the Congo?"…
"To all the students emailing me to 'talk about the class,' just drop it. I’m not interested."…
"Approach the first hot girl you see, taking the shortest path possible—use Dijkstra’s algorithm here if necessary."…
