"I really can’t tell if he’s just being friendly, or wants to tie me up and slather me in some homemade barbecue sauce."…
"He also harassed passing male pigeons, asking if they would be his wing men."…
"I mean, it's definitely a tough situation they've got over there."…
Gemini are in for quite a month!…
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“I’ve done a lot of research and all the movies show that fat shaming is the most effective way to make those little bastards lose a few pounds.”…
"Needless to say, somebody’s getting an A in participation.”…
"According to authorities, Crowthers timed her exit of the gym perfectly with the early rush of students harmlessly making their way to 8:40 classes across campus."…
"We've got to get him out of there."…
“Why would you wake up on a Saturday to go look at some big-ass dinosaur?"…
