“If Mother Teresa can be a saint, so can this sandwich."…
Activism by any means possible.…
"If anything, data suggests that these little fuckers are actually getting dumber with every passing year.”…
"Sorry to disappoint, Mom, but I’m not just some fucking sell-out conformist like you!"…
"Remember the fallen comrades in classes with an undergraduate-determined curve."…
Moving one’s bowels is like real estate—it’s all about location, location, location!…
"Without a trigger warning, we have no way of knowing when a British journalist is about to have his guts spilled out onto the desert floor."…
"There are still some holdouts who experience brief moments of fleeting happiness."…
"The New Yorker spells out for me exactly how I should behave and what I should desire."…
"Past tweets included personal attacks on Washington officials, celebrities, and random citizens from Indiana..."…
