On the afternoon of February 9, Claire Shipman announced via Instagram Live that the 2026 University Commencement would be moved to “the other side of the fucking moon” citing “cost restrictions” and…
On Sunday, January 25th, faculty, students, and other members of the Columbia community were informed that Jennifer Mnookin, chancellor at a safety school, was selected as the next President of Columbia University.…
As of this morning, Columbia Safety has warned students about ICE on Columbia’s Morningside Campus. Students are advised to avoid their biting tactics such as tricking students in poorly lit places about…
Early this morning, a crash in a Cloudflare software system resulted in widespread outages across the Internet, with similar consequences to the Amazon Web Services (AWS) outage last month. Columbia students have…
Due to the shocking debt accumulated last fall, and the numerous controversies surrounding the institution, Barnard College announced that they have made the difficult decision to officially shut down all operations by…
Barnard Facilities has received an especially haunting maintenance request this Halloween season: cleansing a suite of an evil spirit. Beginning in early September, four Barnard suitemates in Suite 11A began to notice…
Barnard College has received upwards of 200 complaints from prospective students who hesitated to apply after viewing the requirement that applicants must “consistently live and identify as women.” She/theys around the country…
Following an agreement with Daddy Donald to carry out a comprehensive evaluation of their admissions practices, Columbia has finally released the results of their audit. Findings include a 39% international student enrollment…
Following the never-ending search for a Columbia president, the Board of Trustees is proud to announce that the search is over! Hallelujah! “I was walking through campus at golden hour, thinking about…
As Columbia’s flu season dies down, students now face a new threat to their 8:40 AM LitHum lecture. Several students have reached out to The Fed after witnessing a ghostly TA spirit…
