In recent campus news, Columbia representatives announced that legacy admission students would now be given a leg up in getting into the university: “We believe that the debates about the impact of…
This morning, Columbia Dining announced that the infamous campus currency Dining Dollars has been renamed “Cafe East Dollars,” because “that’s literally the only place you can use them anyways.” Columbia has long…
Columbia Dining recently announced a new initiative to take pressure off of campus dining halls during peak hours—Hooda Halal will now accept meal plan dining swipes. “The popularity of Hooda among the…
The Columbia English department recently published a study on the usage of personal anecdotes in creative writing “fiction” among university students. The department began funding the study after Professor O. Versher found…
Following the success of the Apple TV drama Severance, JJ’s has instituted the severance procedure for all its visitors. Once you go down those sticky, slippery stairs, you won’t remember anything your…
Each year of my life, I’ve looked forward to the beginning of April like a kid looks forward to presents on Christmas Day. And no, it’s not because of the idiotic, childish…
In a recent April newsletter, Barnard Dining announced that only Barnard students will be allowed to dine at Hewitt Dining Hall. Beginning Monday, April 14th, students enrolled in CC, SEAS, and GS…
NEW YORK, NY—Interim President Katrina Armstrong of Columbia University announced today that she is stepping down from her current position on a particularly wobbly ladder outside of Low Library, effective April 1,…
After facing backlash for allegedly producing graduates who “lack the ability to read,” Columbia University has decided to take learning in a new direction. Inspired by the practices of K-6 education across…
After recent backlash due to the arrest and expulsion of multiple students alongside the forwarding of an unsuccessful Op-Ed via email, President Rosenbury has agreed to team up with YouTuber Shane Dawson…
