Dearest Illustrious Professoress Tal Malkin, When I was a child, my mom (who is closely affiliated with the trustees of Columbia University and recently named as most generous donor for her monetary…
After four years of vocal dissatisfaction, multiple near-transfers, and at least one dramatic declaration of “I cannot do this anymore,” Columbia senior Hipp O. Crite (CC ’26) has realized he “actually loves…
Columbia University recently announced their plans for the incoming freshman classes’ NSOP programming, revealing that just like the incoming class it’ll be bigger and uglier than anything the institution has seen before.…
Inica Kotasthane Oliver Green…
Due to a lack of dormitory space for Columbia’s largest freshman class, Columbia facilities has hired an entire Amish community to build new student housing. Living up to their reputation for efficiency,…
In a final move to show how involved she is with the student body, Shipman decided to indulge in what her team told her was a “popping spot on campus to eat.”…
Now that I’m graduating, I’m realizing I’ll no longer be able to use many of my unfinished article-less headlines in my Google Drive. So, although they went unused for a reason, in…
