After four years of vocal dissatisfaction, multiple near-transfers, and at least one dramatic declaration of “I cannot do this anymore,” Columbia senior Hipp O. Crite (CC ’26) has realized he “actually loves this place.”
“I don’t know,” Hipp said, looking out over campus with the distant gaze of a man experiencing delayed appreciation. “It just hits different now.” Sources confirm he spent the majority of his undergraduate career:
- Complaining about the Core
- Complaining about the weather
- Complaining about Butler
- And occasionally Googling “how to transfer out of Columbia” during midterms
“He’s been saying he hates it here since NSOP,” said friend (SEAS ’26). “Yesterday he called it ‘transformative.’ I almost fell over.”
The shift reportedly began during Senior Week, when Hipp attended an event he would have previously described as “forced fun” and instead found himself saying, “Wait… this is actually nice.”
“I think I was just too hard on it,” Hipp reflected. “Like sure, it was stressful, overwhelming, and occasionally soul-crushing… but also kind of perfect.” James has since begun engaging in behaviors that experts identify as Senior Sentimentality, including walking slower across College Walk “to take it all in”, visiting buildings he avoided for years, and even saying “I’m going to miss this” about things he actively avoided. Perhaps most concerning, Hipp has begun defending Columbia in conversations. “People don’t get it,” he said, shaking his head thoughtfully. “There’s something special here.” This is the same man who, in 2022, described Columbia as “a beautifully organised disaster.” He will graduate confused but emotionally attached.
