Come here child, what did you bring me? Oh, some delicious apples, how lovely. You’re so nice to your grandma, sweetheart. I’m so lucky to eat you—I mean have you. What big…
Following a lecture on invasive species in EESC BC1001 (Intro to Environmental Science), a first-year Barnard student challenged herself to #SaveTheTrees and kill as many spotted lanternflies as humanly possible. The bugs…
i don’t have much time so listen quick i wanted to get into a section of UN1400 so bad i was desperate so i hired a hitman to kill all of the…
You’ve heard all the rumors about how freshman orientation friend groups never stay together, but now that NSOP is over and you’ve created lifelong bonds with so many people over 2:00 AM…
DODGE HALL — This morning, President McBain Shafted announced the construction of a second gym for Columbia students to use. “We’re naming it Dodge,” she stated. “Yeah, we already have a gym…
Hi Columbia. It’s me again. I know you’ve heard my very loud and very public pleas over the last three expensive years that I’ve spent at your institution. You might’ve thought I…
My sister is super hot.…
A classroom of environmental science and engineering majors was befuddled recently by the strange enthusiasm of Professor Matthew Nguyen as he explained the effects of ocean acidification on the ocean’s role as…
Hey Laura, Thanks for coming to Barnard. I’m sure you’ve been given a bunch of campus tours, but quite honestly—there’s more to Barnard outside of our four block campus. Here’s some spots…
Die-hard Core Curriculum fans rejoice! The Center for the Core Curriculum is pleased to announce its newest addition to the Columbia Core Curriculum: “Masterpieces of Personal Hygiene,” otherwise referred to as “Stank…
In the same year that the first woman ever served as vice president of the United States, a Columbia sophomore gave the Barbie Movie (Dir. Greta Gerwig, 2023) a 4.5 on his…
Many New Yorkers were outraged by the 15 cent base fare increase for subway, local buses, and paratransit, as announced in late August. Cost of living in NYC has increased exponentially while…
