Dining in tonight? Hey! You deaf son of a bitch! Stay behind the line!!…
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After rows of College Walk trees were torn down last semester, the…
Fran Splant, CC ’29, was recently spotted wearing a sweatshirt with ‘It…
Last Thursday, several students reported seeing a suspicious Trina-Sarah Tobbs (SEAS ‘27) devouring a curiously monstrous burger at a high table in the back of JJ’s. Luckily, one of our field correspondents…
In the wake of a series of undeniably electric performances, the Columbia community is reeling from the fact that, against all odds, a capella music is a potent sexual weapon. The news…
In a thrilling development from John Jay Dining Hall, sources confirm that, in regards to Tuesday night’s fresh spinach artichoke flatbread, Columbia Dining went completely balls to the wall. Several students reached…
This year’s annual career fair showcased a number of exciting career opportunities for current Columbia students, but one position stood out from the rest: the “University President” stand established by the Columbia…
Upon announcing his withdrawal from the New York City mayoral race, disgraced Mayor Eric Adams quickly found himself meeting the wrath of an angry public. After stating that he would no longer…
Which Chef Mike’s Sub are you? Choose a team to root for. Eagles Ferrari in F1 Miracle on Ice in 1980 New England Patriots Whatever the people around me are doing 🥺…
In a recent press release, Columbia University Information Technology (CUIT) announced that in the coming days, the current two-factor Duo Security system will be revamped to a cutting-edge four-factor authentication that will…
Judah Smith, devout Christian student from Tennessee, heard about the coming of today’s Rapture from a man with a long beard and impeccable physique while scrolling on TikTok last week. Judah, a…
In an attempt to solve its crippling debt issue, Barnard College has implemented a meal plan-like system that automatically charges students on their BCID every time they scan into campus. For the…
I had been rooting against Jimmy Kimmel for years. Especially during the award show years. The Oscars were ruined back to back years by the most exhaustingly accessible comedian on the face…
I don’t know how long I have before she arrives, but I think it’s enough to write down what’s been happening to me. My captivity started a few months ago, or maybe…
Following the recent increases in campus security at Columbia University, Columbia Public Safety has again announced a major change to the checkpoint system around campus. In addition to the existing requirement for…
