Dear Fed, All my friends are going to Punta Cana for Spring Break this year, and I’m supposed to go with them, but I’m starting to feel weird about it. We were…
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! At 8 AM, you wake up in your cramped Carman Hall dorm and pull your hair into a messy bun. You slip on an oversized hoodie, ripped jeans, and…
After the announcement that the Trump administration would be cutting $400 million in funding to Columbia University last week, President Armstrong announced that she was “deeply committed to ensuring that we find…
In a highly-anticipated announcement, Columbia University administrators have announced that The Police will be performing at Bacchanal this year. “We want Bacchanal to reflect the state of campus, and who better than…
After recent reports of activists engaging in sit-ins, an alleged bomb threat, and $400 million dollars of federal contracts and grants being frozen by the Department of Justice (DOJ), Department of Health…
Shortly after Pro-Palestinian protestors occupied Milstein Library, the entire building was evacuated due to an alleged “bomb threat.” Many have been looking dubiously upon the nature of this threat, which some believe…
A new study from Reuters finds, in a shocking reversal of conventional major wisdom, all undergraduate students from Columbia University are now equally unemployable. In the wake of over $400 million in…
Completely lost in LitHum? Fret not with this handy-dandy guide to your favorite Lit Hum books with terms from the internet’s horniest little book nerds. The Exaltation of Inanna: female rage, revenge…
Hilaria Baldwin just secured her first Oscar win. The star, 41, won Best Actress at the 2025 Academy Awards on Sunday. The Massachusetts-born, Spanish-cosplaying actress exclaimed, “It just means so much to…
With Timothée Chalamet and Kylie Jenner’s unsuspecting relationship going on two years next month, Chalamet has become a prominent figure in the Jenner household. For the past five years, Chalamet has worked…
A Letter from the Desk of Interim President Katrina Armstrong: Dear Columbia Community, I recognize that these past few months have been uniquely challenging. Restrictions on campus coupled with rising tensions surrounding…
At a time of peak winter-weather cuddles, Punxsutawney Phyllis has kicked husband Phil to the couch due to the recent warm, specifically spring, weather. TMZ reports that Phil has been “out of…
