Columbia’s School of International and Public Affairs has faced backlash for introducing a new seminar titled, “From Nick Cage to Kim Kardashian: Do Californians Deserve Human Rights?” The course description described the…
The Justice Department’s release of three million additional files from the Epstein investigation has sent shockwaves through the Columbia community, with the implication of several prominent professors, trustees, and “Center for Well-Being”…
“It’s just like, holy shit man, I’m tired,” sighed Punxsutawney Phil, leaning against a brick wall outside of the bar while speaking with a Fed reporter last night. Bringing a cigarette to…
Happy Holidays! This is Santa, sending out a mass dispatch to all your little munchkins — naughty and nice — around the globe. We at the North Pole get a lot of…
This week, major firms including JPMorganChase, Goldman Sachs, and Morgan Stanley have begun their full-time hiring process for university students graduating in 2046. This move should come as no surprise, as students…
Santa Claus has recently been accused by United Elf Workers, one of the North Pole’s largest labor unions, of threatening to cut the wages and benefits of elves disseminating union related material…
For decades, the NORAD Santa Tracker has embodied the transparency and honesty of the United States government. Initially, I believed that the tracker’s democratic access to modern military technology, used to follow…
In the wake of myriad changes to the government and general functioning of the nation made by the Trump Administration, President Donald Trump has announced a modification to the fifty-star American flag,…
In a shocking turn of events, President Donald Trump has been spotted at a Washington, D.C. chapter of Young Democratic Socialists of America (YDSA). This came as a surprise to most, as…
