For decades, the NORAD Santa Tracker has embodied the transparency and honesty of the United States government. Initially, I believed that the tracker’s democratic access to modern military technology, used to follow…
In the wake of myriad changes to the government and general functioning of the nation made by the Trump Administration, President Donald Trump has announced a modification to the fifty-star American flag,…
In a shocking turn of events, President Donald Trump has been spotted at a Washington, D.C. chapter of Young Democratic Socialists of America (YDSA). This came as a surprise to most, as…
Epic brother Halloweekend plans were tragically disrupted for Alpha Smegma brothers this weekend. Brothers were led to believe by local news reports that there was going to be a huge amount of…
After trick-or-treating wrapped up this October 31, kids across the country gathered around and dumped their pillow cases out on the carpet, eager to sort through their candies and take stock of…
Many Columbia graduates find themselves pursuing professions in the startup space after graduation. One intrepid student “stumbled upon” what he described as a “mind-blowing” opportunity when he was offered a position at…
Every day, approximately 800 foreign policy nerds go in and out of the brand new, ultra-efficient SIPA elevators. With one minute of waiting saved per student, the school has amassed a collective…
Earlier today, students were pleasantly surprised to learn that their Canvas apps were no longer working, making it impossible for them to access their assignments, or even to know if class was…
You would think that moving 8000 miles away from home would give me freedom and independence. But alas, the evil creators of Life360 had other plans for my future. Life360 is too…
I had been rooting against Jimmy Kimmel for years. Especially during the award show years. The Oscars were ruined back to back years by the most exhaustingly accessible comedian on the face…
