Columbia has long strained itself to support our increasingly large student body. Upon walking into John Jay at 7PM, it is not rare to see students stacked upon each other’s laps due…
In a new press release, Columbia officials have announced they are extending campus gates. “As the fall semester approaches, we want to restate our commitment to ensuring safety for all members of…
Ever worried that your twentypage paper on feminist intuition or that obnoxious line at the mail room will prevent you from maintaining your lavish bush? Well, fear no longer! Millie the Dancing…
It’s public knowledge that Columbia over-admitted the class of 2029. And yeah, we love our freshmen, with their blissful innocence, not yet having lost that new college student twinkle in their eye.…
Following student complaints about waitlist inconsistency, Columbia University has announced that they will be introducing ranked-choice voting to determine enrollment. In this new system, enrolled students will rank the waitlisted students they…
In a recent campus-wide email, Barnard Dining notified the student body that Liz’s Place has been sued by the Federal Trade Commission for consumer protection violations, including anti-competitive behavior. The lawsuit describes…
As AI continues to cause dramatic shifts in the computer science field, with mass corporate layoffs and fewer job openings than ever, many graduating CS majors are feeling real anxiety about what…
Heartbreaking cries echoed across campus last night as highly disturbing news broke: Paul’s Baby Grand is officially shutting down. In response, the students of the European variety have erected a roadside memorial…
Hello, We would like to inform all residents of Wien Hall that we will no longer be offering beds in any of the single or double rooms in this dormitory. This policy…
There was a gland. I am that gland. I work all day, all night. A rueful life, I know I’m damned I’ve no hope of respite. Ev’ry wipe brings pitiful pain. I…
