The Carman Hall gates are my gates to heaven Feet throbbing from the walk Pretty much from 107, my legs feel every block Though boasting spacious living spaces TV’s and kitchens all…
The Fed has received confirmation from various sources that a woman was seen playing pool at the table relocated to Furnald, making this the first time that anything in that building has…
Last Thursday, several students reported seeing a suspicious Trina-Sarah Tobbs (SEAS ‘27) devouring a curiously monstrous burger at a high table in the back of JJ’s. Luckily, one of our field correspondents…
In the wake of a series of undeniably electric performances, the Columbia community is reeling from the fact that, against all odds, a capella music is a potent sexual weapon. The news…
In a thrilling development from John Jay Dining Hall, sources confirm that, in regards to Tuesday night’s fresh spinach artichoke flatbread, Columbia Dining went completely balls to the wall. Several students reached…
This year’s annual career fair showcased a number of exciting career opportunities for current Columbia students, but one position stood out from the rest: the “University President” stand established by the Columbia…
Upon announcing his withdrawal from the New York City mayoral race, disgraced Mayor Eric Adams quickly found himself meeting the wrath of an angry public. After stating that he would no longer…
Which Chef Mike’s Sub are you? Choose a team to root for. Eagles Ferrari in F1 Miracle on Ice in 1980 New England Patriots Whatever the people around me are doing 🥺…
In a recent press release, Columbia University Information Technology (CUIT) announced that in the coming days, the current two-factor Duo Security system will be revamped to a cutting-edge four-factor authentication that will…
Judah Smith, devout Christian student from Tennessee, heard about the coming of today’s Rapture from a man with a long beard and impeccable physique while scrolling on TikTok last week. Judah, a…
