- Why are philosophy classes not always held in Philosophy Hall?
All humanities classes are in Hamilton, you idiot STEM major.
- Were all of the ancient Greek philosophers gay?
Actually, some of them were bi.
- What are you going to do with your degree when you graduate?
My thesis on Nietzschean abstraction will serve me well when I am Columbia’s first Baton Rouge-based Wendy’s Employee of the Month.
- Did you read all the assigned Contemporary Civilizations texts?
SparkNotes has done more for society than Kant ever did.
- What is the meaning of life?
We literally covered this on the first day of class. Keep up, dweeb.