According to sources at Uris Library, seventeen different students were seen entering a private study room to claim it as their own. Reportedly, each student made a claim that they reserved it…
All humanities classes are in Hamilton, you idiot STEM major. Actually, some of them were bi. My thesis on Nietzschean abstraction will serve me well when I am Columbia’s first Baton Rouge-based…
Barnard 600s dorms to limit toilet paper distribution due to increased suspicious mummy wrapping activity. Please be mindful of your surroundings near the toilet paper cabinet.…
Columbia’s hottest snoop is…a little ghoul with a dark bob? As the spookiest season full of tricks and treats approaches, one silly little ghoul is being fed (heehee fed get it) through…
Hydrogenated oils? More like estrogenated oils! As of the Fall 2023 semester, Barnard’s Diana Center Cafe transitions to VaJayJay’s Place at dusk. Get your hot dogs without the hot dogs, if you…
Look at him. Please sign this and return to the Fed.…
Dear Fed, Like every other Barnard student, I enjoy nothing more than a good old fashioned complaint about our dining halls: the odd hours, the calorie counts, and our inability to use…
New rumors are beginning to circulate that Columbia’s 20th president, Minouche Shafik, has resigned after a brief appearance at a Halloween party on Carman floor 7. Reports say that Shafik decided to…
It’s Halloween season and campus is as scary as ever. From the devilish decorations in our dining halls to vague attempts by RAs to be “festive,” the spooky feeling is spreading. Yet…
