Like every other Barnard student, I enjoy nothing more than a good old fashioned complaint about our dining halls: the odd hours, the calorie counts, and our inability to use our points at half of the cafes and specialty eateries on campus. But above all, my favorite thing to complain about was always the distinctive lack of quesadillas.
You see, dear Fed, despite the signage on the SONO station listing bowls, burritos, tacos, and quesadillas, three of those options were unavailable for the majority of the 2022-2023 school year. I’d saunter up to the SONO station each time 12:58 rolled around and ask for a gooey, cheesy, crispy quesadilla, and every day, I would be met with a resounding “no.” The excuses varied: a broken grill, a tortilla market shortage, a fight with a coworker over the last packet of Mexican blend shredded cheese. It became a bit between me and my new friends over at Barnard dining. We’d say our lines, have a laugh, crack open a few beers to round out the afternoon. But disaster struck on September 5th, 2023. I patiently waited alongside the population of Connecticut to “order” my lunch, but when I “ordered” my “quesadilla,” it…actually arrived?
I was shocked. Devastated. What’s worse, when I tried to protest this obvious mistake to my good friend behind the station, she only pointed behind her to the brand-new, ultra-hot grill that had replaced its shoddy predecessor. Complaining about Diana Quesadillas was the best part of my day. Dear Fed, what am I supposed to do now? I’ve already considered dropping out or going on hunger strike – I need an immediate solution.