In a stunning development that some are calling a “constitutional crisis,” Mayor Eric Adams has recently entered a plea of “I Know You Are, But What Am I” in exchange for the…
An Official Statement from The Office of Cuomo For Mayor Ciao New York! It’s your favorite overly handsy Italian American, and I’m seeking your vote for Mayor of New York! I know…
Sure, one could say that the goal of polyamory isn’t to date as many people as you can….but at The Fed, we advocate for chaos and degeneracy. Have fun with your ‘cule! …
As spring semester has started to kick into gear, students have already begun to grumble about the workload building up. None are more vocal than local junior, Ann O. Ying, who has…
In a stunning announcement from the President’s Office, Columbia University will be instituting congestion pricing in an attempt to cut down on wait times to enter campus during peak hours. Columbia becomes…
Fearing an imminent change in employment, Mayor Eric Adams was recently seen editing his application to the School of General Studies, unsure if his knowledge of the Turkish language will help or…
After a long, warm autumn season, I was finally feeling ready for the winter cold to set in. I had always enjoyed bundling up in a cozy winter coat, walking around and…
Ever been polishing your pearl and thought, You know what would make this better? A little Ivy League spirit. Or maybe you’re rendezvousing with that special someone and suddenly wonder, Would my…
Inspired by and directly stolen from Robert Frost Two Canada Gooses diverged in a dorm closet, And sorry I could not wear both And be doubly-coated, long I stood And looked at…
Today, New York City officially made one of its most ancient and sacred practices legal. Even though I didn’t even know it was actually “illegal,” the rebellious act of crossing the street…
