Matcha and Clairo are all the rage for the Doc Martens-wearing heterosexual men of Columbia University. Labubus on the belt, Laufey baby-tees on the chest, and bell hooks essays in the tote…
Last Thursday, several students reported seeing a suspicious Trina-Sarah Tobbs (SEAS ‘27) devouring a curiously monstrous burger at a high table in the back of JJ’s. Luckily, one of our field correspondents…
In a thrilling development from John Jay Dining Hall, sources confirm that, in regards to Tuesday night’s fresh spinach artichoke flatbread, Columbia Dining went completely balls to the wall. Several students reached…
Which Chef Mike’s Sub are you? Choose a team to root for. Eagles Ferrari in F1 Miracle on Ice in 1980 New England Patriots Whatever the people around me are doing 🥺…
The long-awaited opening of the new Raising Cane’s location on 111th Street has generated tons of buzz due to their giveaway of free Cane’s for a year. However, a significant loophole in…
In a newly published research brief, Columbia University Republicans claim that Ronald Reagan’s trickle-down economics works, and their findings are certainly food for thought. The brief contains empirical research that analyzes meal…
A newly released article by The Guardian alleged that tech giant Apple flew 600 tonnes of iPhones to the U.S. from India in an attempt to beat recently imposed import tariffs by…
As part of a yearly tradition, the university has released a demographic poll of the newly-committed class of 2029. Most notably, the survey reported that a whopping 100 percent of incoming students…
Dear Class of 2029, Congratulations on Your Admittance to the Most Brutalized Ivy League Student Body! While we looked at almost one hundred applications from all over the world [i.e, from one…
A’walkin round in Lerner, Looking for a treat. Thought: well im close to Ferris, But all they ever have is meat! Chicken, bacon, sausage, pepperoni on their pies, Ferris Booth Commons is…
