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Madelyn Xaysanasy

Madelyn Xaysanasy (they/she), a sophomore at Columbia, is a dedicated member of the higher academia community. Among all of their roles in the Fed, they labor each day to craft works that display integrity and critical thinking. Their greatest passions include using the Fed Instagram to watch people's stories and ignoring social cues.

Articles/Health and Fitness

Scoliosis Epidemic on Campus Attributed to ‘The Lesbian Messenger Bag’

by Madelyn Xaysanasy
October 5, 2026October 5, 2026

Recently, Columbia medical researchers have noticed a concerning trend among the lesbian undergraduate population: Their spines have curved and contorted with one lower shoulder and a lower indent in the spine. After…

Articles/On Campus

SIPA to Offer New Master’s Degree in “Sir, Yes Sir!” Starting 2026

by Madelyn Xaysanasy
May 4, 2026April 26, 2026

Columbia University recently released its plans to invest in infrastructure to support the ever-expanding undergraduate population. Alongside the institution’s funding for these campus improvements, the School of International and Public Affairs has…

Advice/Articles/Food and Drink/On Campus

What Dining Hall to Take Your Date to Based on How Serious You Are

by Madelyn Xaysanasy
February 13, 2026February 11, 2026

‘Tis the season of wining and dining. Everyone is concerned about reservations and wait times and doing all the sure-fire things to maximize their Valentine’s Day. No matter who you are, you…

Articles/Food and Drink/On Campus

JJ’s Express Closed on Saturday Nights Due to You Bitches Not Being Able to Follow Directions

by Madelyn Xaysanasy
October 19, 2025October 19, 2025

Tensions have been high on Saturday nights in the basement of John Jay Hall. Freshmen with nothing better to do in the City That Never Sleeps at 10:30 pm gather like vermin…

© 2025 – all rights reserved.

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