A series of reports from all corners of Columbia University have confirmed that things will only continue to get worse. Working in collaboration, several graduate programs within the University have released findings…
In an unsurprising and highly precedented move, I am officially announcing that I will not be moving back to Indiana after graduation. I know this may come as a surprise to literally…
NEW YORK, NY—Interim President Katrina Armstrong of Columbia University announced today that she is stepping down from her current position on a particularly wobbly ladder outside of Low Library, effective April 1,…
BREAKING—According to a new email from CUIT, Columbia Housing’s internal electronic database experienced a complete blackout late last night. “Our technicians are working around the clock to try to restore this system,”…
Following months of budget cuts and protests against a controversial college President, it was revealed that the College’s whopping $250 million dollars of debt was caused by none other than President Laura…
Hi everyone! I wanted to share an important update with my network regarding my personal life. I am now #OpenToDate! This comes after months of listening to ‘attracting, not chasing’ subliminals, writing…
Tragic news came from Morningside Heights this week, where a group of students found their peer, Jonah Riviera, living in a flophouse allegedly known to locals as “Carlton Arms.” Riviera was found…
In anticipation of the holidays, a joint research publication from the Stanford University and Columbia University Psychology Departments unveiled that a mere 34% of American uncles fell above one standard deviation from…
Barnard College of Columbia University announced that in honor of the upcoming inauguration of president-elect Donald Trump, the school would be releasing a new line of merchandise for immediate purchase. Introducing the…
Every student to pass through these hallowed halls must come to the same realization: not that they’ve made the wrong choice to come to Columbia, nor that majoring in Poly Sci is…
