In the same year that the first woman ever served as vice president of the United States, a Columbia sophomore gave the Barbie Movie (Dir. Greta Gerwig, 2023) a 4.5 on his Letterboxd ranking. Despite having a mother, a grandmother (at least two of each at some point), and even a sister and/or aunt, Charlie Shandbox CC’26 wrote in his review: “It was alright. Will Ferrel is the GOAT lol. Fire emoji.” Despite the fact that he pledges allegiance to a flag originally officially sewed by notorious Philadelphian and woman, Betsy Ross, campus woman-hater Charlie Shandbox CC’26 answered on a survey leaving the theater that he would only “probably” recommend the film to a friend. Alternative to him having DNA, as discovered by British chemist Rosalind Franklin, neighborhood male chauvinist Charlie Shandbox CC’26 only saw the Barbie Movie (Dir. Greta Gerwig, 2023) once in theaters, despite his local theater offering many showings the day he saw it. One can only wonder about the misogynistic horrors lurking within the mind of our very own campus bigot.