I Lived It: Parents Not Getting A Divorce After I Left for College

I believed the cliches in the media that as soon as I left for college, my parents would end their 20-year marriage. Well, here I am, halfway through my freshman year, looking like an absolute fool. I go home for the holidays and everything’s perfectly pleasant!

No screaming at the dinner table! No talk of an “irretrievable breakdown of a relationship!” The only lawyer in my mom’s contacts is our tax lawyer who handles our evasion! 

I thought once my parents had the time to talk to each other, they’d figure it’s time to get busy divorcing (not that they ever had marital problems, I just kinda assumed 50 percent of marriages end at the same time my presence in the household does).

All my friends are gonna laugh at me when I go back to school and I have no edgy, angsty traits or characteristics whatsoever! I was really banking on that. Thanks mom and dad :/