In a stunning announcement from the President’s Office, Columbia University will be instituting congestion pricing in an attempt to cut down on wait times to enter campus during peak hours. Columbia becomes…
As of 1:47 AM, The Federalist can officially confirm that your roommate has officially thrown his hat into the ring and is currently running for CC 2026 class representative. In a stunning…
New reports confirm that Barron Trump, in an attempt to juice up the attendance for his freshman-year birthday party at NYU, has proclaimed that one lucky partygoer will be selected to serve…
Following four years of disappointing returns exacerbated by the Coronavirus pandemic, Public Safety assuaged fears of its efficiency by bringing home the bacon big time: earning twenty-two million dollars in seized contraband…
Good news, Columbia! The university has released new event policies that will strengthen our ability to make our voices heard and contribute to ongoing political conversations and in return, all they are…
Something feels different on campus. Is it that the bushes around Furnald have finally been trimmed? Is it that all the freshman dorms have AC, despite Columbia saying they didn’t have the…
At around 1:25 PM on Tuesday, you finally leave your bed to grab some late breakfast, but while walking to the elevator, you see your suitemate sheepishly walking back with a to-go…
In what some have described as a face-saving move, the Bacchanal planning committee has once again partnered with AXS to help students access this year’s concert. After the failure of initial ticket…
In a shocking report, the Fed found that all 30,135 members of Columbia’s student body are still unsure of what they should hate about Nemat “Minouche” Shafik, the incoming president of their…
Well, it finally happened. After completing three semesters at Columbia University in the City of New York, NY, I finally returned home to see friends and family. My father told me that…
