At the start of each school year, Columbia’s Activities Board Council (ABC) releases their allocations of university funding for recognized clubs on campus. On Wednesday, Columbia’s chapter of the Young Venture Capitalists’…
Fed-estimonial: Why I Invested My Last $400 Dollars Into a 12-Week Clown Course.
Last week, I found myself at the end of my rope. The excitement of my newly-finalized PoliSci minor was dampened by my inability to answer a cold call from former University President…
Read Your Palm to Find Out How Your Housing Group will Inevitably Fall Apart!
If your head line is curved… you’re a progressive person. Certainly more progressive than your roommate, who is about to get rejected by his long-term class crush and enter the manosphere. In…
NEW YORK, NY—Interim President Katrina Armstrong of Columbia University announced today that she is stepping down from her current position on a particularly wobbly ladder outside of Low Library, effective April 1,…
Dear Fed, All my friends are going to Punta Cana for Spring Break this year, and I’m supposed to go with them, but I’m starting to feel weird about it. We were…
is even more fun than going to Amity, 1020, The Heights, The Expat, Suiteor being sick to my stomach on the Via back to your dormpartly because when drinking your Orange Exuberance…
This Valentine’s Day, ask your lover for the most romantic gift of all: a little space, for Christ’s Sake! As a “holiday special,” Barnard’s Primary Care Health Services will be offering separation…
In response to student feedback, Senior Associate Director of Fire and Life Safety Ashley Vargas reported on Friday that the Barnard CARES Response Team will begin to send non-emergency messaging via carrier…
Fed Reincorporates Into Pennsylvania, Aims to Commit Late-Term Voter Fraud
Last week, The Fed announced that they would be re-registering as a corporation within the state of Pennsylvania, effectively giving their 40+ members the right to register and vote (albeit belatedly) in…
Funniest Outcome Possible: Trump to Drop Out of Presidential Race, Battle Hilary Clinton in NYC Mayoral Race
On Sunday, former President Donald Trump announced that he was dropping out of the upcoming presidential election. Instead, Trump will be switching races to run for the seat of NYC mayor in…
