In response to student feedback, Senior Associate Director of Fire and Life Safety Ashley Vargas reported on Friday that the Barnard CARES Response Team will begin to send non-emergency messaging via carrier pigeon. Previously, students had been alerted via an automated text messaging and phone call system. The office will continue to send automated text messages, but plans to replace the phone call–historically accompanied by a Purge Alarm ringtone with an in-person message delivered by carrier pigeon. In an exclusive interview with The Federalist, Ms. Vargas confirmed that the college would be employing a combination of real pigeons and biomimetic avian drones sourced from China. “The birds have been instructed to deliver non-emergency alerts to students at any time, anywhere in the world,” she said. “If the recipient is not outside at the time of alert, the birds have been given permission to make contact with the student by any means necessary.” When asked if the drones, originally programmed for espionage, could later be used to collect information on student protesters and free-speech advocates on campus, Ms. Vargas declined to comment.
Barnard to Send Non-Emergency Response Messages Via Carrier Pigeon
