Morton Williams Condemned for Public Displays of Nudity

In a graphic and obscene display, workers removed the scaffolding on the southwest corner of 115th Street and Broadway, leaving Morton Williams Supermarket, an apartment complex, and Ivy League Stationers indecently exposed. In response, locals condemned the store for their decision to expose themselves. 

“I just don’t know why they would do this. I know the college kids don’t care as much, but this is a family area. How am I supposed to explain to my kid what a storefront’s private parts look like? The whole thing is absolutely horrific,” lamented a local mother of three. 

“Yeah, it looks mad gross. I didn’t even know Morton had a storefront. In my head, it was sort of like a grocery portal that you entered at 2 am and left with a tall boy and a bag of chips,” said wrestler John Spencer (CC’23).

Hopefully, the scaffolding will return where it belongs, and the eyes of pedestrians can be saved from such an inappropriate display of public nudity.