This Valentine’s Day, ask your lover for the most romantic gift of all: a little space, for Christ’s Sake! As a “holiday special,” Barnard’s Primary Care Health Services will be offering separation…
From: A Loyal Reader By Oliver Green Fantastic! Enchanting! Delightful! Erm, ok I thought the deal was I’d just do “Fed” and get out of here, but that’s alright… Elegant! Really uh……
In response to student feedback, Senior Associate Director of Fire and Life Safety Ashley Vargas reported on Friday that the Barnard CARES Response Team will begin to send non-emergency messaging via carrier…
According to multiple reports from our dedicated Federalist correspondents in Uris Hall, SEAS student Anne T. Seaushill has been sporting sweaty palms and a rapid heartbeat while in line at Chef Mike’s…
We don’t care. We took the money. He has a hot girlfriend and journalistic ethics have never been real. Look at yourself, you freak! You’re wearing Amazon sweatpants! You bought a watch…
Last week President Trump announced the erection of a new body: the Committee On Containing Knowledge (C.O.C.K.), tasked with erecting standards for educational material. Described as “the climax of our efforts to…
Were you too young to experience the 2015 Hillary Clinton email scandal? Good news! WikiLeaks has outdone itself, releasing email correspondence between Professor Clinton and the Secret Service where she requests more…
Sure, one could say that the goal of polyamory isn’t to date as many people as you can….but at The Fed, we advocate for chaos and degeneracy. Have fun with your ‘cule! …
I (21M) was posted on C/Dating and Relationships on SideChat by my girlfriend (20F) and now I’m getting a ton of hate. Basically, we got into it again outside of her 10:10…
If you’ve been on campus since the semester began, you know there’s one thing that everybody has been talking about: Roar-ee’s new look. Clearly, over break, the feline sensation went home and…
