With students constantly decrying Columbia’s seemingly rigged class registration system, the university has announced its new strategy for ensuring that as many students get their desired classes as possible: waitlists for waitlists.…
Last Thursday, three of Columbia University’s undergraduate colleges, Columbia College, the School for Engineering and Applied Sciences, and Barnard College, sent out application decisions to Early Decisions applicants. All three of the…
As the semester has entered its waning days, the Columbia administration has announced a bold new policy that will condense finals week into a “finals day.” The statement read as follows: “It…
As the House of Representatives has recently voted to expel George Santos, there has been a swarm of media attention surrounding his future career plans. In a statement made on Friday morning,…
It’s a recent phenomenon, Friendsgiving. Much like the famed and corporatized “Galentine’s Day,” Friendsgiving has become another holiday about celebrating your found family: getting together with your closest pals, cooking a hearty…
Move over NYPD, the trolls are here! In response to increasing political tensions on campus, the colleges of Columbia University have introduced a magical new system to regulate gate traffic. The regulation…
Diva down! A newly unearthed report reveals that in addition to Botox, Sephora, and OnlyFans, Representative George Santos used official campaign funds to sponsor the 2023 Barnard Big Sub Day. When questioned…
Amidst all the ghouls, goblins, ghosts, and platform shoe-d frankensteins, exists your platform Doc Marten wearing girlfriend “Twas the night before Halloweekend, and all through campus, Not a creature was stirring, not…
When a crowd gathered around Low Steps on Wednesday to watch the once-in-a-decade inauguration of a new Columbia president, many were at first confused why she stood waiting in the wings. At…
Notorious misogynist and (even worse) Canadian Jordan Peterson is coming to campus and instead of telling you where or when you can find him speaking, I recommend you put that bigotry boner…
