Diva down! A newly unearthed report reveals that in addition to Botox, Sephora, and OnlyFans, Representative George Santos used official campaign funds to sponsor the 2023 Barnard Big Sub Day. When questioned by reporters about the supposed misuse of funds, Santos replied: “Well, I actually went to Barnard, so, yeah.” He then claimed to not know what a sandwich was thirty seconds later. Long live freedom of speech! Long live tuna salad! Long live Big Sub Day!