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Articles/Arts and Culture/On Campus

White Boy Who Claims to Be at a “Very Chinese Time in His Life” Gets D in Elementary Mandarin

by Ava Lyon-Sereno
February 13, 2026February 12, 2026

Regularly saying he was “at a very Chinese time” in his life, Engel O’Saxson, CC ’28, decided to enroll in Elementary Mandarin. Unfortunately, a familiarity with screenshotted RedNote memes and a love…

Articles/Arts and Culture/On Campus

Captain Bayonne (Low Steps Bottle-Flipping Guy) in Trouble for Stuffing His Dancebelt

by Federalist Staff
February 13, 2026February 12, 2026

Captain Bayonne, Columbia’s local bottle-flipping sensation, has recently come into the spotlight for a not-so-flipping awesome reason. Students are used to seeing him perform his special feat on Low Steps in his…

Articles/Arts and Culture/Barnard

Barnard Girl Falls in Love with Columbia Man After He Uses the Word “Discourse” in a Sentence

by Vanessa Wilson
February 13, 2026February 12, 2026

In a stunning Valentine’s-adjacent tragedy unfolding in real time, Barnard sophomore Delu Sion (BC ’27) has reportedly fallen deeply, irrationally, and spiritually against her will in love with a Columbia man, after…

Articles/Books/Claire Shipman/World

Shipman and Fiancee to Star in Heated Rivalry Spinoff

by Matthias Pridgeon
February 13, 2026February 8, 2026

In this economy, desperate job applicants are often forced to apply skills to areas they may not have initially expected. Skills in the humanities might be applied to work in a coffeeshop,…

Articles/Books/On Campus

Report: Cute Girl Eyeing You From Across Library Just Wants Your Premium Study Spot

by Inica Kotasthane
February 13, 2026February 11, 2026

It is a tale told many times before… you arrive at Butler early in the morning, sprightly and bright-eyed, and secure the best seat in the Lawrence A. Wien Reference Room. You…

Articles/Books/The Core

Heated Rivalry Added to LitHum Curriculum

by Federalist Staff
February 13, 2026February 12, 2026

Love is in the air… and in the curriculum! Citing a lack of participation in the notorious freshman course, LitHum professors are turning to new approaches to encourage student engagement and excitement…

Articles/On Campus/Pop Culture

Sunday Scaries: Snowed In with a One-Night Stand 

by Matthias Pridgeon
February 13, 2026February 11, 2026

Perhaps the most tragic element of the snowstorm that struck NYC this January was its timing. Sweeping in early Sunday morning, Columbia students who slept in late following a rowdy night on…

Articles/Pop Culture/World

Most Anticipated Reboot/Spinoff Movies Coming out in 2026

by Oliver Green
February 13, 2026February 12, 2026

…

Advice/Articles/Arts and Culture

Great Gifts to Get Your Girlfriend for Valentine’s Day

by Clara Neilson-Papish, Julia Ryan and Sophie Sorensen-Wald
February 10, 2026February 10, 2026

…

Articles/Arts and Culture/Barnard

Melania Set to Open The Athena Film Festival 

by Federalist Staff
February 5, 2026

Upon seeing tremendous box office success upon its release this past weekend, the First Lady’s new documentary, “Melania,” has been announced as the 2026 Athena Film Festival opening night screening.  “‘Melania’ was…

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