Dear Ms. Plimperton, This is my first year living with my best friends, and it’s everything I’d ever hoped for in all regards but one. The other day I caught one of…
As classes, clubs, and cobbled-together friend groups begin session, you are going to find yourself stuck in a circle peppered with difficult questions such as “What is something interesting about you?” or…
I’m a(n) [ADJECTIVE] student at Columbia, where I’m majoring in [MAJOR]. My passion for this field sparked in my [SCHOOL SUBJECT] course: Professor [RANDOM LAST NAME], a [NUMBER]-time [WHITE LAST NAME], award…
Dearest Illustrious Professoress Tal Malkin, When I was a child, my mom (who is closely affiliated with the trustees of Columbia University and recently named as most generous donor for her monetary…
To anyone who will listen: please attend to my tale of woe! This morning, my application to be a summer intern in my own (upper-middle-class) home was rejected. I’d gotten desperate following…
Now that I’m graduating, I’m realizing I’ll no longer be able to use many of my unfinished article-less headlines in my Google Drive. So, although they went unused for a reason, in…
MORNINGSIDE HEIGHTS, MANHATTAN— I want to be clear, I don’t know how to dance. Or at least I didn’t before. I have no rhythm. I have no flexibility—only a yearning to spread…
By Ivy Drinken So you want to start drinking without looking like a total idiot, huh? Never fear, first years (or losers), this guide is for you! When that hot guy at…
