Okay, I know what you’re thinking: isn’t this a little much? But you guys don’t get it! I’m a SENIOR, alright. I needed my final semester to go perfectly, to lock in…
Everyone says the Columbia dating scene is dead, but those people clearly haven’t logged into the most exclusive app on campus: Butler Library. Forget Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble, Butler is the only…
Do people shudder at the sight of you? Do little kids run from you out of fear that you’re the Boogeyman their parents keep warning them about? Are you stressed about what…
I don’t want them to cook my grandma. Please. He’s already coming to Christmas. …
Hey there, Player! Welcome to Five Nights at Dodge, a survival horror simulation where you must endure five grueling weekdays in Satan’s butthole — Columbia’s Dodge Fitness Center. You play as a…
Do you find yourself alone in your freshman dorm on Friday nights? Do you wish you had that textbook group of friends to play hacky sack with on the lawns? If you…
Happy Back 2 School Szn! For any freshies seeking advice or anyone who wants to elevate their campus steeze, stay locked in when you read this list. Amazon link is in my…
So, you get to Barnard from your private high school class of 50 students who all knew each other. You go up to a group of students in NSOP, all fresh and…
Final (and most important!) step: Never talk to them again and avoid eye contact in the elevator. Thankfully, your mom would love to do lunch!…
Me want banana! So me papoy bo-ka la banana from John Jay. “Tulaliloo ti amo!” papoy me say to le worker at John Jay. Mais po-ka? La banana was green? Blumock! Nononono,…
