In paragraph 36 of the email, Bollinger discussed plans for classes saying, “classes may be entirely in person, entirely online, or we might just set up some type of Hunger Games system…
When the Columbia Federalist reached out to Williams for comment, he explained “Yeah, I know it’s the second day of classes, but I’ve already mapped out all of my courses for the…
Confused SEAS kid emerges from his Furnald room for the first time since March: ‘Where is everyone?’
“We are a pretty social dorm,” Kelvin bragged bashfully, “Before I went into hibernation, we organised a floor outing to see the Battle of the Bands in Lerner Party Space— our usual…
The email continued “Although Justice Ginsberg may have begun law school at Harvard and only transferred to Columbia to accommodate her husband’s new job, her diploma says ‘Columbia’ so we get to…
This morning Pres Daddy Bo and Pres Daddy Hamilton announced a historic merger of their respective universities: Columbia and NYU. This marks a pivotal moment in the histories of both institutions, which…
We’re pleased to announce that we will be sending you everything you need to host an NSOP rager at home.…
Who needs to leave home and make new friends when you can participate in never-ending awkward ice breakers supervised by upperclassmen?”…
Following President Lee Bolligner’s announcement that the Fall semester will be fully online, Columbia Dining has unveiled a brand new, virtual dining plan to keep milking accommodate students who will not return…
“Next season is looking very promising for us,” Declares Columbia Football Coach after every other School Cancels Season…
While the exact details are yet to be finalised, it is rumored that the class will be taught by Barack Obama—our famous alum who, as an international from Kenya, quit smoking nearly…
