Ava Young-Stoner | The Columbia Federalist

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Ava Young-Stoner

Articles/Pop Culture

Mikey Madison To Teach Russian For Heritage Speakers I & II

by Ava Young-Stoner
February 27, 2025February 27, 2025

After the broad success and acclaim of Anora (despite my mid Letterboxd review lolz follow me @moistweave), Columbia’s Slavic Department has announced that the film’s leading actress, Mikey Madison, has joined their…

Articles/Business/Science and Technology

We Let Jeff Bezos Buy The Federalist

by Ava Young-Stoner
February 14, 2025February 13, 2025

We don’t care. We took the money. He has a hot girlfriend and journalistic ethics have never been real. Look at yourself, you freak! You’re wearing Amazon sweatpants! You bought a watch…

Breaking News/On Campus

‘But My Emails!’ Professor Clinton Speaks out After Failing Duo Two-Factor Authentication

by Ava Young-Stoner and Ilan Cohen
February 14, 2023February 14, 2023

Rumors began circulating on Tuesday afternoon that former Secretary of State and recently-appointed SIPA professor Hillary Rodham Clinton has been unable to access her Columbia email. The former secretary confirmed these rumors…

On Campus/Science and Technology/The Core

(GROUND)BREAKING: Digging a Tunnel to the Core of the Earth Now Counts for a Global Core Credit

by Ava Young-Stoner
October 13, 2022October 13, 2022

In an earth-shattering decision from the new dean of Columbia College, Dr. Josef Sorett announced to students via email that digging a tunnel to the core of the Earth will now count…

On Campus

“I’m a Legacy:” Three Questions to Figure Out Whether Your Friend Bought Her Way into Columbia, Her Sorority, or Both

by Ava Young-Stoner
March 2, 2022February 28, 2022

Goose of choice: Does she prefer Golden or Canada? If her coat of choice costs as much as your meal plan, consider finding her parents on LinkedIn; they’re certainly Columbia alums (and…

On Campus/Sports

Mary C. Boyce Announces She Thought “The Strike” Was about Bowling This Whole Time

by Ava Young-Stoner
January 12, 2022January 12, 2022

In a recent university-wide email, Provost Mary C. Boyce admitted to some misconceptions she held about the recently ended labor strike, saying that she thought the phrase ‘Columbia Strikers’ referred to “perhaps…

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