It has been a month since I joined the Columbia community, yet the discomfort of the hard reality that no one discusses still breaks my heart. The complete void of furry identities.…
All humanities classes are in Hamilton, you idiot STEM major. Actually, some of them were bi. My thesis on Nietzschean abstraction will serve me well when I am Columbia’s first Baton Rouge-based…
The Fac Shack is the Coolest Shack on Campus Hell yeah, baby! The Fac Shack rules! Coolest shack on campus by a mile, no contest. You walk up, chat with your Fac…
It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents, except at occasional intervals when it was checked by a violent gust of wind that swept up the streets (for…
Barnard 600s dorms to limit toilet paper distribution due to increased suspicious mummy wrapping activity. Please be mindful of your surroundings near the toilet paper cabinet.…
Columbia’s hottest snoop is…a little ghoul with a dark bob? As the spookiest season full of tricks and treats approaches, one silly little ghoul is being fed (heehee fed get it) through…
A List of Reasons Why the Columbia Federalist and the FEDERAL RESERVE are NOT THE SAME
It seems to (still) be unclear to many that the Federal Reserve, in fact, does not have an undergraduate club at Columbia University. The Columbia Federalist has made a statement on this…
Following a rambunctious Halloween party, Sarah Fitzgerald (CC ‘25) was heard drunkenly joking to a friend how her “Instagram stories will keep [her] out of office forever!” Sarah, who has already gained…
Hydrogenated oils? More like estrogenated oils! As of the Fall 2023 semester, Barnard’s Diana Center Cafe transitions to VaJayJay’s Place at dusk. Get your hot dogs without the hot dogs, if you…