An Open Letter to Columbia Admissions: PRIORITIZE FURRY APPLICANTS!

It has been a month since I joined the Columbia community, yet the discomfort of the hard reality that no one discusses still breaks my heart. The complete void of furry identities.

I’m seriously considering a transfer to Berkeley, where the furry community is actually active on campus. 

It’s puzzling to me how not one single soul in a school for nerds, is publicly a furry. Not even a club? A random person infiltrating campus? Is Columbia euthanizing them? Their unknown fate feeds my anxiousness. 

Now, I know you guys will think “Isn’t Roar-ee enough for you?”. No. 

Roar-ee’s uncuteness actually makes me want to wash my eyes in the penis fountain. 

  1. He does not incite a giggle from my belly.
  2. He does not incite me to hug his (definitely coarse) fursuit.
  3. And, to top it off, Roar-ee does not have a cute interchangeable tongue that goes merp:p

(Though I will say, he did look quite fashionable in that suit for the Inauguration).

Just think about it: furry voices should be advocated more on campus. We can’t shun our outcasts in society, even at Columbia. Picture this: At 2 a.m, JJ’s, and a hybrid wolf/alligator with a shag mullet are in line for some French toast. Orgasmic, am I right?!

As an ally of the funny-as-fuck furries; Columbia admissions: stop discriminating against these anthropomorphic animal characters! Their pure intentions (to make me feel better about myself) should be shown on campus without shame. Woof!