In a shocking turn of events, President Donald Trump has been spotted at a Washington, D.C. chapter of Young Democratic Socialists of America (YDSA). This came as a surprise to most, as…
Watch out, New York! Democratic socialist Zohran Mamdani has just been elected mayor in a landmark campaign for the Democratic Party. New Yorkers all around the city raise a glass tonight to…
Following an agreement with Daddy Donald to carry out a comprehensive evaluation of their admissions practices, Columbia has finally released the results of their audit. Findings include a 39% international student enrollment…
Following the never-ending search for a Columbia president, the Board of Trustees is proud to announce that the search is over! Hallelujah! “I was walking through campus at golden hour, thinking about…
According to a tip from Public Safety employee Al Lydsikirity, the University’s campus-wide mask ban sure stirs up some trouble around Halloween. Al explained to The Fed that the policy was a…
MORNINGSIDE HEIGHTS, MANHATTAN: This past Monday, when students in Columbia’s School of International and Public Affairs (SIPA) awoke to check their inboxes, instead of the usual slurry of job rejections and political…
To the Bwog Editorial Board, Please accept this correspondence as a formal notice to immediately cease and desist all requests for a sequel to “‘Pressed’ Up: A Fed x Spec Fanfiction.” Your…
“AHHHHHHHHHHHH,” yelled one extraordinarily elated, wool-sock wearing student from Low steps when first catching a glimpse of the newest addition to Columbia’s campus. “I LOVE THIS SCHOOOOLLL,” remarks a laughing and skipping…
It came to me in the middle of the night. I heard a rattling outside the window of my penthouse suite at the top of Low Library. I struck upright in bed…
Every day, approximately 800 foreign policy nerds go in and out of the brand new, ultra-efficient SIPA elevators. With one minute of waiting saved per student, the school has amassed a collective…
