MORNINGSIDE HEIGHTS, NY — On Tuesday, the Chinese Ministry of Commerce announced that a severe nationwide shortage of bao buns has emerged, citing “unsustainable levels of consumption traced to Columbia University’s John…
Following an agreement with Daddy Donald to carry out a comprehensive evaluation of their admissions practices, Columbia has finally released the results of their audit. Findings include a 39% international student enrollment…
It was a courtesy invitation, and I hadn’t even sent it; Columbia did, without even checking if I wanted to see my parents again this soon. Last time my dad came to…
Apparently this is going to get me “canceled” or whatever, but I’m not afraid. Yeah, I’ll admit it: I waited till my roommate was asleep, grabbed him by the ankle, opened the…
As Columbia’s flu season dies down, students now face a new threat to their 8:40 AM LitHum lecture. Several students have reached out to The Fed after witnessing a ghostly TA spirit…
When Sean Cena (CC ‘29) learned about Columbia College’s four-semester foreign language requirement, he felt stuck. “I wanted to actually learn something,” Cena told The Fed. It was the end of the…
HEY! Hey, you there! Don’t flip to the next page, WAIT! I’m Little Gregory, and I’m stuck inside The Fed’s printing press. I know, I know, from the rest of the paper,…
It’s no secret that Barnard’s very own President Rosenbury has been the subject (read: creator) of quite a few scandals. Faithful to her stifling approach to governance, her approach to free speech…
This week, it was announced from the Columbia College Student Council that, while budget cuts have made bouncy houses and fair games unattainable this autumn, they are still committed to making sure…
According to a tip from Public Safety employee Al Lydsikirity, the University’s campus-wide mask ban sure stirs up some trouble around Halloween. Al explained to The Fed that the policy was a…
