Everyone says the Columbia dating scene is dead, but those people clearly haven’t logged into the most exclusive app on campus: Butler Library. Forget Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble, Butler is the only…
“AHHHHHHHHHHHH,” yelled one extraordinarily elated, wool-sock wearing student from Low steps when first catching a glimpse of the newest addition to Columbia’s campus. “I LOVE THIS SCHOOOOLLL,” remarks a laughing and skipping…
Like all good Columbia College seniors, I walked into Dodge Fitness Center the other day to complete my swim test, donned my finest (and tiniest) swim trunks, and hoped to harness the…
It came to me in the middle of the night. I heard a rattling outside the window of my penthouse suite at the top of Low Library. I struck upright in bed…
Every day, approximately 800 foreign policy nerds go in and out of the brand new, ultra-efficient SIPA elevators. With one minute of waiting saved per student, the school has amassed a collective…
This morning, Columbia Treasurer Sunil Gulati announced that JJ’s Place will begin serving alcoholic beverages once again to make up the deficit in Columbia’s budget. JJ’s Place was originally opened as “John…
In a move that shocked the Columbia community, the Columbia Sundial recently announced that they would open up several positions that Irish and Italian students could apply to. “After some extensive internal…
The first hint was the stroller outside my dorm. But the chaos really began when my parents saw the crib next to my bed. “I’m nesting,” I explained to them, as they…
Anita Calmdown, a high achiever majoring in bio (on the pre-med track, of course) and political science (pre-law—as a back up) is paving a new career path for overworked, anxious students; in…
Hey there, Player! Welcome to Five Nights at Dodge, a survival horror simulation where you must endure five grueling weekdays in Satan’s butthole — Columbia’s Dodge Fitness Center. You play as a…
