Okay, I know what you’re thinking: isn’t this a little much? But you guys don’t get it! I’m a SENIOR, alright. I needed my final semester to go perfectly, to lock in…
After the Barnard Wellness Spot announced its “Claytastic! Build-A-Vagina” event this Wednesday, the male Columbia community was quick to erupt in outrage. “This is so fucking unfair,” CC sophomore Richard Johnson told…
Well. This is interesting. I got matched with my professor on Marriage Pact this year. I’m not sure what to do next. Am I supposed to email him? Does he email me?…
We all heard the hot news on the street last week. Furnald resident Elmer Edwards had worked up the courage to leave his room and do his laundry when he saw it:…
Due to the shocking debt accumulated last fall, and the numerous controversies surrounding the institution, Barnard College announced that they have made the difficult decision to officially shut down all operations by…
The Butler stacks, one of Columbia’s few study spots that students can occasionally find a seat in without fighting a life or death battle, was recently reported to be receiving visitors of…
That hellish odor Moist urinal cake on tile Duolingo ping…
Barnard Facilities has received an especially haunting maintenance request this Halloween season: cleansing a suite of an evil spirit. Beginning in early September, four Barnard suitemates in Suite 11A began to notice…
A 13-year investigation at The Fed has finally concluded to confirm that a majority of finance clubs on campus secretly worship chthonic beings of old. Equipped with silver rings, holy water, and…
Barnard College has received upwards of 200 complaints from prospective students who hesitated to apply after viewing the requirement that applicants must “consistently live and identify as women.” She/theys around the country…
