In honor of Valentine’s Day, Barnard’s Health and Wellness team is proud to present free bagels and pap schmears for all Barnardians. Organizers hope that the event will bring awareness to women’s…
We’ve all been there: your big-name university president made an oopsie or two, and now you’re scrambling for a new one at the last minute. What’s a board of trustees to do?…
Beware! I Did Sorority Rush and They Hazed Me Into Solving the Major Ethical Dilemmas of the Century
I decided to rush this semester in pursuit of sisterhood, social validation, and the divine feminine. Upon entering Faculty House in my modestly slutty midi dress and nude heels, I expected to…
In a stunning announcement from the President’s Office, Columbia University will be instituting congestion pricing in an attempt to cut down on wait times to enter campus during peak hours. Columbia becomes…
Zwhoop! What was that? Oh, just the new ziplines across campus that Columbia introduced in effort to reduce collisions between students looking down at their phones! “Look, we’ve tried everything, but at…
Barnard College of Columbia University announced that in honor of the upcoming inauguration of president-elect Donald Trump, the school would be releasing a new line of merchandise for immediate purchase. Introducing the…
Do you know what’s in your breakfast? A concerning new study has revealed that the scrambled eggs served in Columbia and Barnard dining halls actually contain trace amounts of egg. The study…
Call me a crotchety old geezer if you like, but this newest generation is too soft. Ever since this latest “climate change” fad hit the streets, freshmen aren’t wiping out on the…
Grandma got run over by Chef Mike Walking home from Uris Christmas Eve You can say he never meant to do it But as for all the students we believe She’d been…
