Halloween weekend means it’s time to start the seasonal bender all over again, and in honor of the many clubs, bars, and parties we’ll frequent in skimpy and scandalous costumes, here’s a…
It could’ve happened to anyone. I was downtown last Friday night, a little drunk in some godforsaken divebar. He looked cute. Six five, blue-eyed, even told me he worked in finance with…
Following student complaints about waitlist inconsistency, Columbia University has announced that they will be introducing ranked-choice voting to determine enrollment. In this new system, enrolled students will rank the waitlisted students they…
This month, the Columbia administration reached out to all students via email, inviting input on the search for the university’s new president. Previously, the administration has faced criticism because of their disregard…
Last Saturday, senior advisor Elon Musk stepped into work after a long night of playing video games, tending to a fire started by dollar bills, and a strange dream involving a ghost…
No seriously: he just sits there, randomly guesses four things, and somehow manages to be one away. Then he uses all his guesses, gets nothing right, opens an incognito tab, and does…
Well, that was fast. Columbia’s interim president, Katrina Armstrong, has resigned after barely more than a month on the job. An independent review of communications to the student body from Columbia administrators…
The Hudson River: home to fish, party cruises, sewage, chemical contamination, and, now, the Columbia College swim test. In a recent change by Columbia administrators, students graduating in 2028 and later will…
In a stunning revelation, a Columbia student who claims to have visited Heaven has reported that the pearly gates themselves now require a CUID. “So there’s this guy at the front, sitting…
