In a leaked letter to faculty and staff from Baroness Shafik and the Board of Trustees, The Fed has discovered the real reason why campus has closed and commencement has been canceled. …
Come here child, what did you bring me? Oh, some delicious apples, how lovely. You’re so nice to your grandma, sweetheart. I’m so lucky to eat you—I mean have you. What big…
Dear Blue and White, Let’s kiss. We’d just be so powerful together. Think about it; a two-color undergraduate magazine that’s old as shit, and a sexy, politically reformed, totally honest newspaper touching…
In a world consumed by streaming platforms, major television networks are willing to try anything to get you out of your Netflix, Disney+, and Dropout subscriptions and into the jaws of a…
In the face of the sensationalist anti-mask controversy, the Arts & Culture section of the Columbia Daily Spectator has succeeded and named themselves Alt-Spec, a newer, cooler Spec. Attempting to model their…
After many years of advocating for animal rights, PETA has apparently “given up.” The organization posted on all of their social media accounts “Go nuts,” accompanied by a graphic of a cartoon…
Fork and Spoon = Spork Yellow and blue crayon = green crayon Cord and socket = dongle Two halves of an Avocado = whole Avocado Salt and pepper = Everything-but-the-Bagel seasoning Bride…
I’m not quite sure how to put this tastefully. I tried to end things amicably, but you crossed the line. Boundaries are put in place for a reason, and because of that,…
