I Can’t Break up with SUNY Geneseo

By Mollie Schmidtberger, trying to cut ties with her toxic ex

Artwork by Kat Chen

I’m not quite sure how to put this tastefully. I tried to end things amicably, but you crossed the line. Boundaries are put in place for a reason, and because of that, I cannot stay silent any longer. 

This is an open letter to SUNY Geneseo. I will say it loud and clear so that you can’t, in any way, get it twisted: Let. Me. Break. Up. With. You. 

Our relationship started in late September when I decided to put you on my application list. It was great for the first couple of months, receiving all the emails (so, so many emails). I get it, you needed to branch out, needed to show that you were interested, and that’s okay. It was fun, it was fresh, it felt good to be wanted, needed. Everything was good. 

But February rolled around and all of a sudden, our love was no longer exciting. The spark was gone, the crush was dead. Other lovers came along and offered a relationship that I just couldn’t refuse, and I said goodbye. 

 But then you started calling me. You refused to accept my decline, trying to lure me back with your connections and power in the heat of the summer, but I had made up my mind. I’m still sorry to this day that it had to come to this point, but I do not regret getting your mother involved. It was the only way to get peace. 

Silence, at last. It didn’t last very long. This arrived in the mail the other day. 

How you got my new address I don’t know, but I can’t keep doing this. You’re exhausting. This is starting to get traumatic. How I feel about you is how I feel when I hear the word “moist”—I simply wish to die. 

So please, SUNY, just find another girl to booty call in the middle of the term, because she ain’t me.