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Federalist Staff

New York City

The Most Impressive Thing About Me: I Found a Summer Sublet

by Federalist Staff
April 23, 2023September 29, 2024

I’m not usually one to brag but honestly, this accomplishment was too big to not announce: last week, I officially found a sublet in New York City for the summer! I know…

Arts and Culture/On Campus/Pop Culture

From Drain to Drama: Meet McBain Mold, the Columbia Alumn Starring in HBO’s The Last of Us

by Federalist Staff
March 23, 2023April 23, 2025

Earlier this month, Federalist reporters were offered an exclusive opportunity to sit down with the newest famous Columbia alumna, McBain Mold. From their meek rental fridge beginnings to their newly minted Hollywood…

On Campus/PrezBo

Some of Prezbo’s Most Famous Quotes, Explained 

by Federalist Staff
February 14, 2023February 14, 2023

As we say farewell to Lee Bollinger’s legendary 20-year tenure as Columbia’s president, the Federalist is reminiscing on some of Prezbo’s best insights:  On freshmen getting lost on the 1 train during…

On Campus

Columbia Housing Sends 14th ‘Room Selection Reminder’ Email in Case Massive, Stressful Decision Not Already Front-of-Mind

by Federalist Staff
February 14, 2023September 29, 2024

Earlier this morning, Columbia Housing sent out yet another reminder to undergraduate students about housing registration. “JUST IN CASE YOU’VE BEEN LIVING UNDER A ROCK,” the email began, “THIS IS A HEADS…

New York City

My Chair Squeaked in Ref and I Had to Flee in Shame

by Federalist Staff
November 24, 2022September 29, 2024

It was a Monday night in late October. I had an Art Hum paper due the next day, so I went to Ref for a few hours to crank out the final…

Advice/Arts and Culture/Business/New York City/On Campus

“I’m Just Here for the Chanel Bag” — How Columbia Students Spent Their Summers

by Federalist Staff
October 11, 2022October 18, 2022

LOW STEPS — As the summer comes to a close, Columbia students return to campus with an abundance of professional experiences. We interviewed three students to find out more about what Columbia…

On Campus/PrezBo

A List of Every Cuss We Know to See if The Federalist Will Print It

by Matilda Darragh-Ford and Federalist Staff
September 8, 2022August 7, 2025

Ass Asshole Bastard Bitch Bollocks Cock Damn Dick Fuck Hell Shit Wanker Oh shit, they really did it. They really published all those words. This is the First Amendment in action.  Love,…

On Campus/Sports

Columbia Announces Student’s Friend’s Cousin’s Barber’s Niece is Competing in the Winter Olympics

by Federalist Staff
February 16, 2022April 23, 2025

Columbia has announced that Jen Smith, a student’s friend’s cousin’s barber’s niece, will be competing in the 2022 Winter Olympics as an alternate for the fiftieth alternate on the US Men’s Ice…

On Campus

REPORT: Ninety Percent of Discussion Post Just Personal Anecdote

by Federalist Staff
December 8, 2021September 29, 2024

Last Monday, graduate student Matt Owens asked his Contemporary Civilizations section to write a 300-word discussion post about Aristotle’s theory of happiness, due on Wednesday at 11:59 pm. Katie Benson (CC’24) submitted…

Advice/World

The Federalist’s Guide to Surviving No-Nut November

by Matilda Darragh-Ford and Federalist Staff
December 1, 2021May 20, 2024

Cut your dick off CUT YOUR DICK OFF CUT YOUR DICK OFF CUT YOUR DICK OFF CUT YOUR DICK OFF Go to church Thanksgiving Issue, November 2021…

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